The Unofficial Post About Queers

We are, of course, the official site of the unofficial Prohibitionist Party. Being as much we feel our obligation to post our official opinion about other unofficial matters that are not related to the sinful and mortal consumption of alcoholic spirits, we offer our weekly feature on Matters Other Than Alcohol:

The "gays":
After long, exhaustive research of reliable sources* and great thought, we have decided that it is the official position of the unofficial party that if God had so intended for two men to lay in sin together so that they might fornicate in a single bed, he would have given them bigger assholes.

*said sources being quickly accessed by such prosaic searches as "hot gay male love sex", or so I've been told by our crack investigative team, their thankless job.